Today is my last day of being 24. What have I learned this year? I surely didn't manage to stop caring. But, I have realised a few things, or have forced myself to. Some people are irreplaceable. There's nothing called moving on, only getting accustomed to the pain.
With some people, you fall in love. You keep falling, and they never catch you. You try to grab on to a wall and admire them. You feel like falling for them again. And once again, they don't catch you. This goes on for a while, till you are surrounded by darkness and despair.
Then, you see this long hand coming at you. Do you grab it? Do you give up? These walls were bounding the vulnerable you. It is your home. The familiarity. What do you do? You never know whose hand this is. But at least it is a hand. I grabbed it and the walls caved in on me. I fought with myself for making such a decision and for destroying the well. It took with it all my emotions and feelings and ability to love and care.
When I came above ground, there was a lot of sunlight and trees and fresh air. My body felt better. I found my mind again. But my heart kept revisiting the ruins of the well. The hole was trying to close itself, burying all my emotions. Every time I went back, the hole would reopen a little for me to be able to greet my feelings. After some time I realised that I am stopping the hole to fill and close and build something on it. The shadows of well asked me to stay away. So I am away now. I visit the site sometimes. I am happy that there is a new construction going on.
With some people, you fall in love. You keep falling, and they never catch you. You try to grab on to a wall and admire them. You feel like falling for them again. And once again, they don't catch you. This goes on for a while, till you are surrounded by darkness and despair.
Then, you see this long hand coming at you. Do you grab it? Do you give up? These walls were bounding the vulnerable you. It is your home. The familiarity. What do you do? You never know whose hand this is. But at least it is a hand. I grabbed it and the walls caved in on me. I fought with myself for making such a decision and for destroying the well. It took with it all my emotions and feelings and ability to love and care.
When I came above ground, there was a lot of sunlight and trees and fresh air. My body felt better. I found my mind again. But my heart kept revisiting the ruins of the well. The hole was trying to close itself, burying all my emotions. Every time I went back, the hole would reopen a little for me to be able to greet my feelings. After some time I realised that I am stopping the hole to fill and close and build something on it. The shadows of well asked me to stay away. So I am away now. I visit the site sometimes. I am happy that there is a new construction going on.
No comments:
Post a Comment