its actually raining!!!

oh how much i waited for this and now when its over the pain has increased so much. why does this always happen? the happy times end so quickly and the long hours of wait seem to be endless?

pooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! booooooooooooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bang bang bang bang...!!!! its over!
coming up next...the fast and furious wbjee!!!!!!!!
dada came yesterday and i went to mayukhda's house in the evening with him. i saw rudiments!!! there was a huge library full of mathematics. i tried some books and obviously looked at pictures only... :P
ohhhhhhh when will this end?? ar valolagchena....eto tension....
now i will be able to read maths though which i was looking forward to, all these days.i had a nice refreshing break yesterday after weeks of tension and frustration and fear.
i m using the computer right in the morning coz there's no guarantee that i wud be able to do so in any other time of the day....dada's here! he bought me an icecream yesterday...hehehe!
i can chatter like this all day. i havent talked with my friends(i mean the gossiping part :P) for days...they never call me. i keep calling them up. sometimes one or 2 msgs come but cant reply, thanks to my biiiiiig balance.
anyway have to go now. have to decide what to study.
bye!!!

The day before...

I think the situation is similar to that of "the charge of the light brigade". the opposition is so enormously powerful and u have only a few ways of self defense (leave alone attack...!!!).
The Two Towers. people of rohan waiting for the innumerable orks coming towards them. all the fighters are not even trained soldiers; some are kids, old people, farmers, workers. the long wait in the rain...u can hear their footsteps from a long distance. the last hope is still in ur heart. maybe we can get through this.
why is education being kept in chains like this? why cant it be free? why has it become a nasty war, butchering minds like anything?
are the complains due to weakness?
i thought education was for filling ur minds with light, not with tension and fear. but thats what it is doing. how many of us REALLY studied chemistry or physics or mathematics truly from our hearts and not for getting into some renowned institution? we just mug up formulae with the hope that we might b able to use them in exams. maybe that works. but is that education? maybe it will help u to get a tag which will say that u r educated...but is that it?
after 2 years of tuitions and notes and xerox copies and fat books, i feel that i hv learnt very little. i hardly felt physics or chemistry and thats why it is getting so difficult to prepare for exams like iit. we r taught things becoz they r going to come in exams. some of my friends dont even know what they will study after school finals. they just say i want to go to jadavpur university or iit. marks, ranks have taken away the beauty of the subjects. and noone can complain coz they ensure good future(money, jobs, etc).
maybe i m saying this coz i m losing the rat race. it may not be so.
we think so little about the subjects. instead we mug up...anything and everything!
but thats the way things go.
i have little chance tomorrow. i started preparing late. lets see what happens.
even if i manage to get through it, my views will not change.
bye.

up next....the hardest one!
the syllabus is really really fat....trust me. switching over from definitions to concepts and numericals is hard...no point in whining coz u r not the only one.
i m trying my best, lets see what happens.

i had pizza and futchka yesterday...yummy! i had yesterday's evening off. but i couldn't enjoy to the fullest, i have my iits this sunday!!!!!!!
when will i be free? that's the toughest question right now, tougher than those coming in the iit jee...hehehe....
ok bye