weeks are passing by very fast. with or without any results, sometimes not even efforts. Sometimes i am getting bored too much. I went out many times, spent a lot of money...mostly on food though.
Today i saw the himalayas from the balcony of my room. it was quite a surprise. the only good thing that happened today i guess. i am B-O-R-E-D. and am not working at all. lost motivation. to do anything. even hamging out with adyasha and poulami seem tiring sometimes.(edited)
in fact, every friend of mine here(now i realise, everywhere) talks about himself or herself to me. all the time i am listening. sometimes, not even listening, just nodding.
Whenever i am alone i do mostly 2 things:
1. I think about life in ecole, imagine situations, the nature of the new people i am going to meet and how i am possibly going to react or behave. Would i be able to adjust? would i talk there or stay quiet like here? how would be the food? How much would i miss my family, city? How would life be in a foreign country?
2. i think about home. i try to imagine what i would have been doing if i had not come to mohali. about the cats. mother. my room. friends. the awesome wifi. i am not homesick though.
at the end of the day, i feel like am nowhere.
At mohali, i know i wont be here for long so i cant settle down mentally. after i go back home, there also i cant allow myself to get settled again, and ecole...it seems so far off. Am i overthinking? i am just confused about where i should be. i hate this floating condition.
2 comments:
you are in the orbit and you will change orbits often. you will come to visit khelaghar for a change occasionally. World is your home now. look at Raakabhaka ----- boodhooram
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