Friday, June 14, 2013

Not here or there...or anywhere.



weeks are passing by very fast. with or without any results, sometimes not even efforts. Sometimes i am getting bored too much. I went out many times, spent a lot of money...mostly on food though.
Today i saw the himalayas from the balcony of my room. it was quite a surprise. the only good thing that happened today i guess. i am B-O-R-E-D. and am not working at all. lost motivation. to do anything. even hamging out with adyasha and poulami seem tiring sometimes.(edited)
in fact, every friend of mine here(now i realise, everywhere) talks about himself or herself to me. all the time i am listening. sometimes, not even listening, just nodding.
Whenever i am alone i do mostly 2 things:
1. I think about life in ecole, imagine situations, the nature of the new people i am going to meet and how i am possibly going to react or behave. Would i be able to adjust? would i talk there or stay quiet like here? how would be the food? How much would i miss my family, city? How would life be in a foreign country?
2. i think about home. i try to imagine what i would have been doing if i had not come to mohali. about the cats. mother. my room. friends. the awesome wifi. i am not homesick though.
at the end of the day, i feel like am nowhere.
At mohali, i know i wont be here for long so i cant settle down mentally. after i go back home, there also i cant allow myself to get settled again, and ecole...it seems so far off. Am i overthinking? i am just confused about where i should be. i hate this floating condition. 

2 comments:

Boodhooram Ignoramus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Boodhooram Ignoramus said...

you are in the orbit and you will change orbits often. you will come to visit khelaghar for a change occasionally. World is your home now. look at Raakabhaka ----- boodhooram