i havent been so tensed in my whole life(almost 2 decades, dont underestimate). there is this strange painful emotion that is captivating all my spirits... dampening them. sometimes it is so convincing that even breathing is difficult. and it IS hampering my concentration which is the worst part. there are so many things to remember. time is very short. m distracting myself from those terrifying thoughts by reading "the lost symbol" by dan brown. it keeps my mind engaged. also studies themselves distract my mind. otherwise, i become a victim of negative feelings. people say,"its just the beginning..."

i hate this rat race. competition, marks, ranks.....i want to scream!!!!
am i saying all this coz i m losing the game? i dont know.
lakhs are doing what i m doing. i wish the education system did more to make studies an attraction itself rather than making colleges, universities, marks ranks the shah rukh khans.



survival of the fittest.... it has always been that way.