Today i figured out what my problem was. I was putting too much blame on my brains by calling myself stupid all the time, that i am not intelligent enough like other. But the real reason why i am "stupid"is that i don't think or more importantly i can't concentrate. Its a a pure lack of concentration. I know this because, when i actually think properly, i get things very easily, atleast faster than what i expect from myself given that i have accepted the fact that i aam a slow thinker. Thing is i am slow not because i am dull, its coz i get distracted very very easily.
This actually made me feel better, because now i know that i am smart and that the "stupidity"comes from my laziness and lack of concentration.
i guess i am the one stopping myself from being better. things have to change now.